Putting Your Hands Where??

Yesterday morning, as I was preparing for our morning live shot, a woman passed by me. She stopped, turned around and said, "May I ask you a question?" She seemed "normal" enough, so I said, "Sure." I thought she'd ask me something related to the TV industry. Boy was I wrong..!!

WOMAN: "If a man comes up behind a woman and starts putting his hands, you know, in inappropriate areas, you think he wants something??"

ME: "Ummm..what?"

W: "If a guy, like you, comes up behind a woman and starts you know, touching a woman on her backside, do you think that he wants something.."

(insert sound of reporter running interference curling into a ball, burying her nose in her notepad and pretending to be busy)

M: "Oh..uh...well..."

W: "Now I'm just saying that they guy might want something. But does the woman..??"

M: "Geez, I dunno. I'm kinda busy here.."

W: "But wait a sec. He might get her all worked up...and she might just you know, want what he's dishing out.."

M: " Wow...I...Umm..look, I don't know what the circumstances are, but sure, I guess possibly. Look, I've got to get back to work. I'm wasting time here...."

W: "Now what if they're both crackheads?? Because they're sure to be crackheads doing this."

M: "Oh..well....sure. That GOES without saying. But then again, I'm just a white boy from the suburbs. What do I know from crackheads? Now if it was meth, and you were talking about tweakers, sure...I'd go along with what you're saying.

W:"See, I knew...."

M:"ButHEYlookitsgettingtimeformetogotoworkthanksforstoppingby!!"

(insert sound of reporter trying not to snort all over her notebook)

I quickly ran to the back of the truck and drug out my AC line. I headed back to the truck and mumbled under my breath to my reporter Jacque, "Thanks for riding shotgun there, partner."

(cue loud snort from Jaque)

Why me?? That's all I want to know. Why me??