De-Pantsed By an Audi (almost...)

Friday morning we were live for our morning show at Cleveland's I-X Center. If you've never had the chance to go to an event there, you need to go. The I-X Center, short for International Exposition Center, is a monster of a building. It was constructed during WWII and known as The Cleveland Tank Plant. In general, it built Sherman Tanks during the war.

Well, now it's a huge place for conventions. For the next two weeks it hosts the Cleveland Auto Show. That's why we were there. To shill for the auto makers.

Near the end of our show, we did a hit with Jerry Adams, the President of the Northeastern Ohio Car dealers Association. He drives up in a new 2005 Audi TT Roadster, which is going to be given away as a grand prize at the end of the auto show.

Well, I've said the IX center is HUGE. So huge that whenwe roll cable into it, after a while, the length of the run causes problems with radio IFB and we have to run a hard wire IFB from the reeler.

So, I'm running around tethered to the dong at the end of the reeler and my IFB piggybacked to my talent, our morning anchor, John.

So, we decide to do the last shot with John and Jerry in the car. They did a little five foot drive up to me as the shot began and the whole shot went smoothly.

Until...(you knew this was coming)

After the shot was over, John says, "Hey...let's do a burnout!!!" We all laughed because the inside of the IX center is carpeted for the show. Jerry says, "All we'd do is ruin a little carpet..." Then I said, "I've always been partial to a neutral drop..."

And the next thing I know, I hear VROOOOOOOOMM VROOOOOOOOMMM and the SOB slaps the shifter into first gear and takes off.....

WHILE I'M TETHERED TO MY ANCHOR BY A 10 FOOT CABLE, WHO IS IN THE DAMN CAR!!!!!!!!!!!

I started screaming STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! While watching in slow motion as the cable on the floor starts to go farther away from me and then start to get taut.

Oh, did I mention, I had the IFB hard box clipped on my pocket??????

I see our talent frantically trying to undo himself from the IFB, but he's in trouble because he's got his seatbelt on.

Then it starts to pull on me...HARD. I did the stupidest thing I could think of. I leaned the opposite way to brace myself. Thank God I'm a big guy. I shifted about two feet before Jerry stopped the car. The IFB box clip bent to a 45 degree angle, made a SPROING noise and shot off my pocket about 7 feet in the air, ripping my IFB from my ear. It also pulled the talent's IFB out.

All I could do was see the headlines, "TV Cameraman's Jeans Ripped Off by Audi"

And you know what???? The jackass, Adams, never apologized for it.....!!

Good thing my jeans didn't rip off. I go commando.*







*Not really. Just wanted you to lose you lunch over the visual.